She should have left you...

Completely ignoring the warning signs, I continued to browse my book and concluded the slight pain as being caused by too much heat and post wedding jitters. I couldn’t help but look over at my new beautiful bride as we sat on a beach in the north part of Maui and wonder how she ever agreed to marry me. On the suggestion of a good place to eat from a family member, we headed to our nice little mustang convertible we had rented and took off for the 10 minute drive to the restaurant.

The countryside was gorgeous. We passed up the windy road, through the beautiful neighborhood bordering the golf course, and cruised right up to the parking lot where the club house and restaurant was located. Maybe I’m just hungry I thought to myself as the pain shot through my gut. Men will understand that I don’t want to feel like a wimp in front of my new bride, although she may have already suspected, so I keep the pain to myself as I put the sleek sports car in park.

Ouch. Woah, that one kind of hurt. For a minute I wondered if she had stabbed me. She really didn’t seem to have it in her though. I thought things were going great! Before I could even check to see if there was a knife, I mumbled something about hurting and slumped forward as my peripheral vision darkened. Subsiding for a brief second I looked down then looked at Tabby, comforted that there was no knife, I told her I was hurting a bit. I believe she was getting out of the car and talking frantically to someone. I decided to open my door as well as the peripheries of my vision darkened again.

Regaining consciousness, I notice a couple of things. I’m looking up at a beautiful blue sky with comforting cumulus clouds which sets a stark contrast to the second observation that I barely even notice the grass I’m laying on due to the pain in my side. The EMT standing over me yells that I’m awake and several strong hands start to pick me up. I struggle to tell them to wait but I don’t think anything comes out. The frustrating blurring and darkening of vision seems to follow the sharp pain.

“He’s awake!” Shouts the EMT again. I’m being looked after by a real Sherlock I think to myself. What is going on?

“Where are we?” I manage to croak out.

“Hang in there buddy” The EMT says.

Ok, it didn’t feel very good trying to talk. By hanging in there, I think he meant close my eyes and take a nap. I’ll do just that.

This better not be the EMT guy I thought to myself as I felt a soft hand stroking mine. Opening my eyes, I see my beautiful bride smiling and excited that I’m awake. That is good news. She probably didn’t stab me if she’s happy to see me. I ask her what happened and she recounts her version of events. Simply trying to follow the ambulance and wondering if I had died on the thirty minute drive to the one hospital in Maui.

If I didn’t move too much, I learned that the pain remained manageable. Tabby pointed out that the IV contained some chemicals which were helping with the pain side of things. Great, I thought, I’m on my honeymoon and my appendix burst. At least I’m not dead. What a story right? Satisfied that I’m still alive, she excuses herself to make the awkward phone call to her new in laws explaining that there son is in the hospital.

The nurse comes in and wheels me back to a room for x-rays. I’m just glad I’m so tough I find myself thinking. Whatever this turns out to be, anyone else probably would have bit the dust, but not me. The tech makes a funny face, points at the prints, and then comes over and tells me the doctor will be with me shortly. With my curiosity peaked, I try quizzing the nurse wheeling me back to my room, but she refuses to answer anything.

A Hollywood producer could not have dreamed up a more accurate person to play the part of island doctor I see standing before me. Tall, handsome, shaggy blond hair, and a white doctors coat thrown over his Hawaiian shirt and khaki cargo shorts, I almost laugh but I’m afraid that will hurt so I restrain. Wait, he’s got sandals on too! This is awesome.

“I understand you guys are on your honeymoon?” He asks us.

“Yes” Tabby says nervously.

He smiles. “Well, you are going to be fine my friend.” He says very confidently to me. “Let me ask you this though, when was the last time you had a bowel movement.”

What kind of question is that? Yesterday? I don’t keep track. “I think yesterday…” I really don’t like where this is going.

“Well, here are your x-rays dude.” He holds up a picture of what must be my colon. “You are just full of crap my friend. You have a case of terrible constipation and that is causing the pain. I’ll prescribe you a strong laxative and be sure to drink lots of water over the next few days and don’t over exert yourself.”

At this point, Tabby is giggling and while I’m relieved its nothing serious, I was really hoping that it was a different “not serious” than being constipated and ending up in the ER on our honeymoon. Life is fun like this though.

This “excursion” would end up being our most expensive one, even topping the helicopter tour we took. In fact, this wouldn’t be the last time I’d wake up in a hospital bed with Tabby sitting their stroking my hand as I wake up. Through constipation requiring hospitalization to weird bone spurs in my leg, Tabby has been steadfast in holding my hand. I don’t see myself as the prime catch in the pond by any means, but Tabby has always made me feel like I am.

Leaping forward nearly ten years from that hilarious adventure in Maui, I find myself around family and friends offering encouragement to us as we embark on our latest “health” adventure together.

“I don’t know if I can say this right,” he says.

Then don’t say it I think to myself.

“But, I want you to understand Tabby is a real catch.” He reminds me. I completely agree.

“Don’t take this wrong, but she should have left you by now.” He offers.

How could I take that wrong?

“I mean a girl as young and as beautiful as her, she could just say, hey, I didn’t sign up for this and find someone else, but she hasn’t. I just want you to be encouraged by that.” He offers.

I won’t lie and say it hasn’t crossed my mind on the dark days. The fact that Tabby would be better off with just about anyone else but me. I will say this though, he is only part right about what he said, and Tabby has taught me so. She in fact did sign up for “this.” She just didn’t expect this and neither did I. To list out what kind of person Tabby is would take far more than just a simple story or two. She has taught me more about love in the last ten years than I thought existed. Throughout our marriage, every time we have hit some challenge, she has stood by me and loved me that much more.

The more people I’ve gotten to know, the more I’ve become convinced that everyone will have challenges, and significant ones at that. There is no “giving up” in Tabby. She would charge hell with a water pistol for me. Sometimes people I think brush over the “for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, or for sickness and in health” part of wedding vows. Tabby explained to me one time that marriage is not a contract but a covenant. We are in this together, “till death do us apart (or part)”, and she lives it day in and out.

I try really hard not to be a burden to live with. Unlike what my friend said during his motivational speech, she did sign up for this, and so did I. We just didn’t expect this. She definitely doesn’t deserve this. I don’t deserve her. But she makes me want to be the best husband I can be despite my depleting body. Tabby has shown me that love is so much more than attraction, or a feeling, but a decision and a commitment that doesn’t have clauses or exceptions. I think that is much like what Jesus intended when he referred to His church as His bride. A love that doesn’t have clauses, doesn’t have exceptions, and sticks with us through no matter what life brings. I’m thankful our kids have Tabby as a model.

Thank you Tabby for sticking with me through it all, from constipation to motor neuron diseases, I love you.